By Mark Hodges
In November of 1963, my mother, Beatrice Hodges, gave birth to her seventh child, Philip, who was born with cerebral palsy due to complications of his birth. Philip’s arrival was a life-changing event for my parents, my siblings, and me. His influence in our lives was profound and, for me, formative.
A Brother, A Teacher, A Gift
The countless lessons Philip has taught me throughout my life have shaped the person I am. I share those lessons in this book, which I have been writing in my head for most of my life, and which I hope will help families who have Philips in their lives appreciate the great joys and important lessons that a disabled child or sibling can bring to their lives, as Philip did for mine and for my family’s.
Our parents made Philip a gift, not a burden. It was the most important lesson that my wonderful siblings and I learned.
How Growing Up with Disability Shaped My Character
Throughout my life, I’ve often thought about how having Philip for a brother has influenced me. As a young boy of eight when he was born, I interacted with Philip every day, helping to care for him, loving him, and coming to understand the gravity of his condition. Long after I left home for college and to build my own life, Philip’s influence stayed with me in so many ways.
After decades of pondering Philip’s immense effect on my self-image and worldview, I decided to catalog my reflections and to share them. I wanted the world to know, and more particularly, I wanted the families who were perhaps struggling with the reality of a disabled child or sibling to know that, amid the challenges and anxieties of caring for a disabled family member, joy can be found.
Further, I wanted to articulate, first for myself, and then for others, how Philip’s life influenced mine. It was through Philip that I developed my compassion for others, my work ethic, my sense of responsibility and teamwork, and my gratitude for being born healthy and for all the opportunities I’d been given.
Honoring a Mother’s Extraordinary Love
And finally, I wanted to honor our mother, Beatrice, whose extraordinary devotion to Philip’s care and limitless love for him shaped my life and my siblings’. As she told us, and as I wrote in this little book, “God knows that we will love him, no matter what has happened to him, no matter what he will become.”
Finding Joy Amid Challenges
I directed the messages and lessons I learned in this book to the families with disabled members, in the hope that they may find solace in the stories I share. I wrote this book not to instruct or even imply that I know how they should care for or feel about their disabled child or brother or sister, but to simply share my own reflections, my journey through life with Philip. And I hope that I can help those families find the joys that having a disabled family member can bring.
Despite cerebral palsy, Philip was a very happy child. Because his life was happy and joyful, he became a source of joy for my family and for me in so many ways. If I can help families to find the joy, then writing this book will have been worthwhile.
“If you look for it, you can find joy in simple ways, by helping your disabled child to experience joy in whatever form that takes. For Philip, sometimes all it takes is some McDonald’s French fries, a dish of ice cream, or a hug, a kiss, and a backrub. Find ways for them to be joyous and you will experience joy for yourself.
Continuing Philip’s Legacy
The reflections in this article come from my book, Lessons from Philip – The Joys and Sorrows of Growing Up with a Disabled Brother, a deeply personal account of what it meant to grow up alongside my brother and the many ways his life shaped my own.
In sharing these stories, my hope is not only to honor Philip, but also to offer encouragement to families who may be navigating the realities of life with a disabled child or sibling. If the book helps readers recognize the love, resilience, and unexpected joys that can grow from those experiences, then it will have served its purpose.
In that spirit, I have also decided to donate a portion of the proceeds from the book to UCP, whose work supports individuals with disabilities and their families across its international network.
Supporting organizations like UCP helps ensure that families facing the challenges of disability have access to resources, advocacy, and community — something every family deserves.
Find Lessons from Philip wherever books are sold.
About the Author
Mark Hodges is the author of Lessons from Philip, a memoir shaped by growing up with his brother Philip, who lives with profound cerebral palsy. As the third of eight children, Mark shares a sibling’s perspective on disability, family, resilience, and unconditional love. He wrote this book to encourage families raising children with disabilities and to honor the lasting impact Philip has had on his life. Mark credits his upbringing with shaping his optimism, compassion, and determination. Learn more at LessonsFromPhilip.com.
