Young, Queer and Crippled: We’ve Got Spirit Too

Andrew Morrison GurzaTo commemorate Spirit Day, the following is a guest post from a noted blogger and disability advocate who is also gay and a person with a disability. Andrew Morrison-Gurza is a Disability Awareness Consultant with an MA of Legal Studies specializing in Persons with Disabilities. Andrew also has the experience of living as a person with a disability. He understands that the concept of disability is one that many individuals are very new to, and they may not feel comfortable to discuss it. Through his work, Andrew aims to give everyone the opportunity and most importantly, the permission to start the conversation by discussing his day to day lived experience and making disability accessible to everyone. About the terminology he uses in his post, he notes “Cripple is a term that I have reclaimed as one of empowerment. It is not the politically correct terminology for Persons with Disabilities, but it is how I self-identify.”

 

By Andrew Morrison Gurza

I was sitting in my 11th grade math class, and there he was: an absolutely stunning spectacle of man (or, at least what my 16 year old brain considered to be “man” at the time).   Everything inside me told me to go talk with him, my palms were sweaty, his smile made me melt to the floor—it was now or never.  I had just come out of the closet, and based on all the TV and movies I had seen, now that I had admitted my sexuality, my quest for a long term partner would be that much easier.

As I pushed the joystick on my 300-lbs. wheelchair towards him, I began to realize that it wouldn’t be that easy, and all of these thoughts about how I was ‘too disabled’ began to flood my brain. I never did tell my high school crush how I felt about him, but the feelings of uncertainty and fear with respect to my disability lingered. The more and more I got messaging from the media reminding me that “it was okay to be gay,” I would also wonder in the back of my mind, “yes. But is it okay to be gay and disabled?”

Spirit Day is a brilliant initiative designed to combat bullying and homophobia against LGBTQ+ youth. With this in place, Queer youth are told that they matter, and that they have a voice in our ever changing queer-scape. I think that Spirit Day also allows for us to remember the queer voices that we don’t often hear about. For me, that is the queer cripple.

It is important to remember that they exist too, but they may be navigating their queerness in entirely different ways: with Personal Care Assistants who help them with everyday activities many people take for granted, struggling with feeling different amongst the different, and having very few role models who embrace both their disability and their sexuality openly.

Imagine feeling burdensome to everyone because everywhere you look, you are not at all represented. Imagine worrying that you might not get your basic needs met if you come out, and imagine worrying that you might never be loved – all because you sit rather than stand.

It is in our youth where changes in the LGBTQ+ experience will truly come, and so it is our young LGBTQ+ community who must be introduced to the Queer Cripple. We must teach them that it is okay to have questions about disability, and it is okay to be a little bit scared of what they don’t understand.  We must show them now, that all bodies have value, so that by the time they start accessing their sexuality in real-time, the good looking guy in a wheelchair will be someone they will approach as they would anyone else – perhaps with questions and queries, but without fear and fakery.

Spirit Day can also ensure that we celebrate disability in the Queer community. By actively discussing disability (and all that comes with it) on Spirit Day, we can show young Queers with Disabilities that there is indeed a place for them, and they will be a part of this bright rainbow that we all are trying to shine under.

Thank you for reading! If you want to find out more about the work I do as a Disability Awareness Consultant, or find out how I can “make disability accessible” to you through blogging, presenting or speaking, please head over to www.andrewmorrisongurza.com